pull-me-out

I saw the first flake float by.

Then another — and another — and in minutes —

I’m facing a wall of white.

Whaddya know?  After 24 hours of talking, thinking and worrying about whether the weather will —

The weather did.

And I can’t helping taking some credit for this in some way — since there are 60 people holding an invitation to an event we’re hosting tonight with this image on the cover —

Yep.

We’re luring our best clients downtown for a way hip happy hour at the newest venue with “contemporary culture and a fashionable attitude” —

Because “right about now we all could use a mid-winter pick-me-up” —

Better make that —

Pull-me-out.

not there yet

When two people are in the same place —

On the same page —

At the same time —

Well — that’s just pretty.

Pretty cool.  Pretty amazing.  Pretty —

Rare.  

I know.  Trust me.  I’ve been there. 

And believe me, carpe diem-ing — without hesitation, without reservation —is the only — well— sane response two humans can have.

But I’ve also been — yep, you guessed it —

Square. 

Square-peg-in-round-hole, that is.  Plenty of times. 

And still. 

While “not there yet” is not a good enough reason to wait or put yourself on hold, the idea of remaining open to possibilities is a good one.

And one possibility that really has to be considered —

In fact, more heavily weighted than others when “not there yet” is on the table is —

“Never will be.”

Awwwwww. 

I know.

by heart

These are my thoughts the Monday after Valentine’s Day — collected after a weekend of friend and family L-O-V-E. 

I am struck most by the feeling that love is all around — and that opening myself up to deeply knowing those who are present or are yet to come into my life is an unlimited, ever-changing and unending source of fulfillment. 

That’s my love story for today — for all time.

<3

With my eyes closed, I know —

I know you —

By heart.

And yet.

There is still so much more —

To know. 

And because my heart is open — you can be sure —

I can hold it all — every last drop of who you are —

And who you will become.

<3

 (credit for the image goes to velvetpeel http://www.velvetpeel.com)

lucky enough

I close my eyes, say a prayer and open my property tax statement.

I don’t want to read it.  But I do. 

Then — I can’t put it down — and I’m mumbling, shaking my head, rocking back and forth, twisting my hair —

Get the picture? 

This can’t be — I repeat over and over and over —

Flip the switch to activate distress response.  Stagger 20 feet from the kitchen to my tiny closet office.  Find and dig through the folder marked “Wells Fargo Mortgage” —

Hold my breath as I put my hands on the recent statement. 

And then it registers — no — it “clicks” —

A pistol cocked and pointed right between —

I-can’t-believe-my-eyes.

But there it is.  The same number. 

The current amount I owe — after three years of stuffing every bit of extra cash I can into my mortgage — is now equal to —

My current estimated market value.

Sigh. 

Feel very sorry for myself. 

And then — it occurs to me —

With how tough it is out there, I am one of the lucky ones. 

Yep. 

Never coulda woulda said this a year ago but it’s true now —

If you’re lucky enough to say you’re running harder just to stay in place — well —

You’re lucky enough.

six word memoir

On love and heartbreak —

[The Valentine's Day Edition]

Mine:

The air I breathed, then gone.

Yours?

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=100510986

i don’t know

If what you need is an answer — you can get one —

Go ahead and make one —

Or take one. 

Cause really, any will do —

If  resolving the question as soon as possible is of the utmost importance.  But —

If  you want to know the truth — if you want to be certain in your heart of hearts — then you must agree to some amount of waiting and seeing.

A time of testing —

Playing it out —

And living in a state of  — doubt.

Today I allow myself to feel “I don’t know” without rushing to any conclusions.  I allow myself to feel completely uncertain about what’s happening now and what it might mean.  I allow myself to leave the sentence unfinished.

For now.

Because.

I don’t know.

21 tulips

A carefully-wrapped bundle of fresh stems

Hand-carried to surprise his wife of 21 years

He stands shyly outside the door to her office

While her ooohs and ahhhs bring all of us

Into the hallway to watch the unwrapping

Twenty-one sweet dewy-eyed blossoms of love.

Happy Anniversary Coral and Dennis!

face the music

I’ve been 5′8″, 125 lbs. (+/- 5) with a size 8 1/2 shoe for more than 30 years now —

But I didn’t think I had stopped growing —

Until just recently.

So I have to ask.  Is it my age?

Because for the first time in my life, “stuck” and “hit the ceiling” feel personal and real to me —

And I gotta admit, “As Good as it Gets” is showing constantly on a forehead —

Between my ears —

In fact, it’s tatooed on my ass —

My upper arms —

And —well — need I say more?

Yes, I’m afraid I must.

Because in writing this — saying it out loud —

I’m starting to see a connection between wanting to “stop time” on my face and body —

And stopping  forward movement in my life.  

So —

If I want to keep moving forward — and I do —

If I want to keep dancing — and I do —

I need to face the music —

Today’s music —

And dance —

Now.

fresh tracks

You see it.  Ski it.  And want it to last forever.

But it doesn’t.  And it can’t.

Because good snow — like any perfect condition in life — is a temporary state. 

Oh, yeah. 

Here today —

Gone tomorrow. 

And that’s o.k. 

Actually —uh — it’s more than o.k. 

It’s perfect.

Can’t see two inches in front of your face?  Feel your way.

Too steep?  Sit your ass down and slide awhile.

Hit some bumps?  Bend your knees and become one with the conditions —

Exactly as they are.

Exactly as you are.

Cause when you think about it — changing conditions are nothing but invitations to know more.

More about yourself and what sustains you—

More about what you can endure and how you will manage —

More about how much you can lose and still get yourself to the bottom and ready for the next —

Lift up —

Because like the mountain, you —

Your true self — is the only — the ultimate —

Constant in an ever changing universe. 

And if you can learn to let go —

Trust your truth and become one with whatever’s under your feet in the present moment —

You will move forward.

You will find joy.

You will catch the next lift —

Up.